Becoming...

 

Funny, this photo hearkens back to my "Lizzy Frizzfrock" blog days when the G-man and I were staying at the North Rim of the Grand Canyon... it's a beautiful sunrise. I sneaked out of our cabin and walked along the rim to capture it. The G-man slept through it all but he love the photograph. I have no idea why I chose it for my "entrance" into today's blog. I just love the photo and my time with the G-man, brief though it was.

Today, right now, I've had a glass of wine and it sent me back to times that I loved. I have other times too with other people, but my time with the G-man was special... it was pleasant; it was not contentious. We cared for one another and loved one another and respected one another. That is the most important point I think, respect. Love is important but respect for the other may "overcome" love in a relationship.

I'm not sure if it the photo or the wine or both that have made me remember the wonderful times, great times, with the G-man. I always want to remember and revisit the places that were so special to me, but it's difficult at my an advancing age. I can take Jake but he cannot fathom the meaning... I'm not sure anyone can. It was all a process to becoming... but becoming what? Becoming who I am? But at my age does it matter who I am? Who cares other than I? I think it's important to know who we are; we take stock from time to time. Have you taken stock of your life?

The funny things about writing a blog is you never know where it's going...

Mary Oliver: What Will You Do with Your One Wild and Precious Life?

 The Summer Day

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean—
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down—
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

—Mary Oliver

 

This is such a lovely yet haunting poem. Mary Oliver found inspiration in the everyday thing. She was a wonderful poet. She inspired us, the reader, to make sense of, to appreciate our surroundings or to at least try.

The saddest line in this poem is: "Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?" As we age "too soon" slips up quickly; but what about those who die so very young? One never knows when the time will come for us to leave but the time will come and for many it is just way too soon. Sometimes death comes so soon that the person has barely begun to live... yet alone decide what to do with the one wild and precious life. 

Having written the paragraph above, I think the children who died too soon these young souls played in the grass, looked at bugs, had fun on playgrounds with their friends, and loved their families. That is all they should have done. I heard some of the dreams held by these children and that is part of what they should have done. 

I am grateful for these young lives and immensely sorrowful that they left too soon. The question remains for us, "What will you do with your one wild and precious life?"

More Doing; Less Ruminating

 Yesterday morning I voted and just for fun stuck the "I Voted" sticker on my car dashboard. It was a little joke that I was sharing with a couple of my friends. It's a rare time when I don't vote... I think I've only missed voting in one election. 

Today this sticker means more than most times. Just before noon on Tuesday, May 24, an eighteen year old "man" walked into Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas and began shooting. He killed at least 19 little children and two teachers. Before going on the murderous rampage he shot to kill his own grandmother. Other people were shot and wounded including law enforcement officers. I'm praying the other shooting victims survive.

We don't know yet know why this man-child did this. Maybe something will be learned in the coming days and weeks but it doesn't matter as long as this state and country refuses to enact any logical gun control measures. 

On my Facebook page I posted a quote from a source, Positive Outlooks.

 My post reads as follows: 

"Something to think about on another terribly sad morning. 

"I'm thinking about my family, my neighbors, my town, my state, my country.

"I'm wondering, how can we make  it a better, safer, happier place to live? More guns are not the answer. More and better gun control is a start to a better answer.

"Those of you who read this are likely as concerned as I am. Life as we know it can only change for the better if responsible laws are passed. To pass those laws it requires us citizens and voters to demand changes; to get out to the polls and cast our ballots. VOTE as if lived depend on it because lives do. VOTE!!!"

I want all my family, friends, acquaintances, and people I haven't met to know that you matter. All around the world people matter ... they matter to me. The families in Uvalde matter. They mattered before this crime took place and they matter now. The shooter mattered and it is unfathomable that whatever hatred was within him went undetected. Even if it was known he was disturbed maybe the extent of his problems and what he was capable of could not be comprehended by those around him. 

To my family and friends please know how thankful I am that you are in my life.

Ruminating on "God Save Texas"

This morning my book club met at my house to discuss Lawrence Wright's book God Save Texas, A Journey into the Soul of the Lone Star State. I had read the book a few years ago and loved it and was to pleased when we decided to read it for our club.

I think it's practically impossible to understand the myriad of feeling that belong to a person who lives in Texas... a person who has spent well over half her life here. I have called Texas home for 47 years. Many times I've said I felt like I was home when I first rolled into the state on a June day in 1975 with my husband, Dan. 

We left friends, family in Georgia and headed for San Antonio. It was almost a miraculous feeling getting here. I loved the city of San Antonio, its people, the culture, the history from the minute we got settled. I doubt I ever told Dan how much I loved it all. (Well, maybe he can read my blog.)

It was the first time I'd been around Mexican-Americans, the first time I'd been around women who seemed so independent, the first time I was in a city and state of many cultures... cultures that were celebrated. It was the first time I felt like I could see for miles and miles. Texas is vast... the vistas are enormous; the sky is wide and high. It was a glorious feeling. It still is.

About a year later I went back to visit family in Georgia and I felt so claustrophobic ... I couldn't get a good view of the sky because of the massive amount of trees. As I've aged I've considered moving back to be near family either in South Carolina or possibly Georgia, but it's awfully hard to think about leaving Texas. I have many friends who have become family... people in my town, in my neighborhood, people with whom I've taught and worked. It's been 15 years since I retired and these teacher friends and I are still close. We don't get to see one another as much as we did a few years ago (the pandemic slowed us down a bit) but we get together for lunch and we definitely talk on the phone a lot. I think we are there for one another as if we lived on the same block or in the same town. 

Forty-seven years later I'm still in love with the land, the people, the idea of Texas. Mind you, my Texas ideal may not be that of another Texas resident, but I love my idea of it. People who are friendly and caring of their neighbors, of strangers, and willing to lend a helping hand. I want to think, to believe, that the majority of people do care about other people, their state, democracy, fair play, and love thy neighbor regardless of race, ethnicity, gender, sexual preference, religious (or non-religious) and political affiliations. Maybe there is something wrong with me but I do believe people are inherently good and that goodness is what should be celebrated. 

And back to God Save Texas, mostly it covers the good of this beautiful state... but like any truth it speaks to the good, the bad, the ugly. Lawrence Wright is a life-long Texan. Of course, he has lived in other places but that likely brings a greater understanding of life in all its complexities. The New York Times stated in a review: " It's a testament to Wright's formidable storytelling skills that a reader will encounter plenty of information without ever feeling lost." 

Lawrence Wright is a staff writer for The New Yorker and the author of nine previous books of nonfiction and a winner of a Pulitzer Prize for The Looming Tower. He resides in Austin, TX.

(Photo by Jeff Gooding of me at Pedernales Falls State Park near Johnson City, TX. A gorgeous Texas blue sky is in the background.)

 

Weather: Heat and No Rain Chance

Today my thoughts are scattered. Perhaps number one is just how hot it already is in Texas and it's just past mid-May! The temperatures are hovering in the mid to upper 90s and hitting 100 in some areas. There is not much chance of rain in our future... only 10% to 20% chances. Generally speaking, the end of May and into June are our best chances for significant rain... but now it's just plain hot.

The mornings are beautiful but the afternoons are brutal. I love looking outside the back of my house. The field has a few wildflowers still in bloom and I shall wait for the seeds to drop before I mow. Getting out early to mow is something I still enjoy doing. I commune with nature. Sometimes birds will fly to the ground to pickup worms that are more easily spotted. Butterflies flit along the ground sipping nectar from wildflowers. Usually, there is a pleasant breeze so my chore is enjoyable. It's definitely not a time of quiet contemplation because of the noise from the mower, but I wear ear coverings and the noise is at least muffled. As neighbors walk past I turn off my mower to have a little chat or have a chance just to say, "hello ... how are you?" 

Right now I don't want to go into any deep thoughts although there are several hanging at the back of my consciousness. Maybe I'll address those later... maybe not. I hope you have pleasant thoughts today and please share them if you would like. I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Wondering ~ Trying Not To Worry

My friend at "Letters from a Listener" blog has deep thoughts and many "wonderings". The last few months I've tried not to worry and dwell on things I cannot control. I tell myself that my VOTE counts, but in actuality I know I must do more than vote. I must "do"! I'm not as outgoing as many of my friends, so putting myself out in the community is a bit difficult for me. Oddly enough, I have made many great connections via Zoom Meetings. These Zoom meetings came about because during the Time of Pandemic" most of us were unable to get out into the community. Many of these meetings have been sponsored by the Episcopal Church as there is much concern about all the "-isms" that I spoke of in my first posting. I've had meetings with One Human Race via Zoom; I participate in a Contemplative Prayer group on Wednesday night (another Zoom meeting); I have 3 book clubs to which I belong. But, I still don't feel like I'm actively participating in anything of great import. I'm learning, but I'm not doing. Now that I settled on a Blog name I've decided to post this which was a comment to my friend mentioned at the beginning.

CC

Greetings from Central Texas!

Greetings from central Texas. Many years ago I met and became fast friends with fellow bloggers from around the USA and the World. My blog was Lizzy Frizzfrock, Lizzy's Photos, and more recently Thoughts on Racism & Whatever-else is Important. I think the later one had a last entry in January 2021. I don't think I want to continue with that title and may go back to the original or come up with something different.
I have such wonderful memories with the Lizzy Frizzfrock blog because it covered many things that the G-man & I did together. He passed away 8 years ago this coming June. I miss him and cherish the memories we made and many that I shared on by blog. I may want to keep it separate. As for Lizzy's Photos, well I haven't taken a lot of photos except around home... I could still resurrect it on occasion.
"Thoughts on Racism..." may be just too controversial and though I may discuss various "-isims" I don't want to go announcing trouble before it's ever read. In other words, I'm looking for peaceful, calm, sincere responses to any thoughts I write. Also, I do not have a "chip on my shoulder" which that title may indicate that I have.
What I do have is a deep sadness and apprehension bordering on despair for the direction of our country and the world. I see our democracy slipping away. I fear we may have to loose it before people will realize the freedoms that we may lose. If I can come up with a new blog title this comment on your new blog may be my first entry.
So happy a fellow blogger has returned to "Blogland"!!! I'm hoping other of our blog friends will follow suit!
CC